Victoria Grace Tucker | Adoptee Advocate All these factors could make me incredibly angry and bitter, but what will those emotions do but hinder my life? After a long journey, I chose to forgive them, but to do that I had to take the first step. I can’t hold other people accountable for my life. I didn’t ask for my birth mother to get pregnant at sixteen and to place me with another family. I didn’t ask for my father to die before I could ever meet him. I didn’t ask for rejection by many of my birth family members. I didn’t ask for my adopted father to be emotionally abusive. I have to remember that these people are humans with their own damage and are in all stages of their healing journey or haven’t even begun it at all. Though words said or actions they’ve done have impacted my life, I can’t let them stunt my life as a whole. But I couldn’t have gotten to this point without support from close friends, positive family relationships, counseling, and of course Jesus Christ. My close friends have supported me and encouraged me to seek healing when I was too blinded by my emotions to see that I needed it. My mother, aunts and uncles, and grandparents helped instill moral values into me and taught me that I can overcome any hardship and most importantly to trust in and love My Lord and Savior. There have been many a circumstance where I’ve cried out to God in grief and anger because of the trauma from my past, but in Him is comfort, forgiveness, and healing. Healing is not a quick solution, but a journey, one I’ll continue to be on for the rest of my life. Through counseling, prayer, and support I’ve reached a place where I’m at peace with my past. There are still areas I haven’t explored and sometimes I do feel grief such as for my birth father, but I don’t think the definition of healing excludes hurting sometimes. Old injuries ache and sometimes healing hurts, but that doesn’t mean joy is unattainable. Thrive means to prosper and flourish and that’s what I want to do as an adoptee and what this year should be for all adoptees. This is the year for adoptees to find healing. This is the year for adoptees to be seen and heard. This is the year for adoptees to come into this beautiful, flawed world. This is the year for adoptees to thrive.
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